Lesson #2: Love

How can you tell if you're in love with a person? When you feel like you want that person for yourself? When you want to spend most of your time with that person? Or is it when you're ready to sacrifice yourself for that person's happiness?

I've witnessed this fact with my own eyes. But what most people refer to as "love" is for their own selves. Although they say and convince themselves that they love a person, what they desire the most is for that person to be theirs; despite what the other person feels about them.

I've denied this fact numerous times, but I've had feelings of infatuation toward several females. During my kindergarten to elementary years, I've had different crushes every year. The change of crushes slowed down as I've entered high school. Why did I mention that? To prove that I'm not a non-feeling person who has never experienced liking someone. It was during high school when I learned how it is to love. No, I did not fall in love with someone. However, I came close to doing so, but crushed my hopes of being close to that person because of my defensive nature, while my feelings were in an early stage. I doubt if she felt as bad about what I did as I think she might have, but that caused me to distance myself from that person, afraid I might do more harm. It was when I distanced myself from her that I realized what I really wanted. I wanted her to be happy. And that's what it really means to love a person.

This is a common feeling. But people usually don't like watching the person they love happy without them. It is in our nature to feel that it is pointless for the person we love to be happy when it is not with us. I'm not saying you shouldn't try trying to be loved. What I'm pointing out here is simply to learn when you should give up trying. Usually, people who try really hard to be loved by the person he/she loves ends up hurting that person.

This is a popular saying: "You always hurt the one you love." It's even in some songs. Take note of the word "always". That means hurting the person we love is natural. Thus, we shouldn't be afraid of hurting the person we love. However, we shouldn't hurt them so much as to break them. Believe me, it is hard to be happy with someone who gets hurt just by being with you.